Voice of the Orphan Blog

Remaining Teachable

By Kerry Hasenbalg
“When I was a child, I talked like a child, I thought like a child, I reasoned like a child...” –1 Cor.13:11a

I heard our five year old son, Cole, singing the song “Holy is the Lord”,  but when he got to the lyrics, “God almighty,” he sang “Calamari” instead: “Holy is the Lord, Calamari!” Children.

So I said, “Cole, you are supposed to sing, ‘God almighty’ because He is the Holy Lord.  Calamari is the fried squid that daddy likes to eat.”

After he laughed at his mistake, he then returned to singing, but this time using the right words.

This incident reminded me again that we, like children, can be gravely mistaken when trying to understand and express what we believe to be the messages of God.  So may we be as teachable and humble as children when it comes to being wrong and corrected by others.

May we be able to receive correction, laugh at ourselves, and then return to worshipping and sharing about God as best we can. For in a similar way to earthly parents, God is pleased by purity and humility of heart far more than our getting it right.

Flexible

By Kerry Hasenbalg
“I know what it is to be in need, and I know what it is to have plenty. I have learned the secret of being content in any and every situation, whether well fed or hungry, whether living in plenty or in want.” -Phil. 4:12

I love to ski.  Especially moguls. Skiing moguls successfully is not unlike succeeding in riding the bumps of life and not being broken in the process. Absorbing them with bent knees is the key, rather than tensing up and fighting against the bumps.  Because taking the bumps with flexibility makes the ride fun, but tensing up, seeking to protect oneself causes great harm to your body.  Blessed are the flexible, for they shall not be broken. 

We have had to learn to be flexible the last few months, trying to survive all the changes in our lives.  Trust God; He is good.  It may not always seem that way, but He is, and He will take you through.  The critical importance for protection in taking the bumps of life is to keep your knees bent... on our knees in prayer that is. May we not become anxious when we find ourselves on bumpy roads.  Instead, as the Word teaches, we must bring all things to the Lord through prayer and supplication, and He shall guard us from harm.  We can then lean back and enjoy the ride.

Self-pity

By Kerry Hasenbalg

"Praise be to the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ! In his great mercy he has given us new birth into a living hope through the resurrection of Jesus Christ from the dead...” -1 Peter 1:3

My husband and I have talked a great deal about self-pity over the past week.  He said, “self-pity is like a pitstop to anger and bitterness, isn’t it?” I agreed.  We realized that God gives us comfort when we mourn, but when we choose self-pity, there is no grace and no comfort!   I told my mom that memories, thoughts, and pains keep resurfacing as if fresh and new, but that God seems to be there each time.  But that there are times when I seem to be just fine and I CHOOSE to return to my pain and that it is in these times there is no grace and no sensing of God’s presence and I feel like I will die.  These were the times I CHOSE self-pity and as a result the grace was not there to see me through the valley.  Self-pity is Satan’s lie – it is a corrosive evil and it steals from us. 

For those adoptive parents stuck in the wait, God will bring about your adoption in His way and in His timing.  We do not want what he does not want for us!  He does know what’s best.  You would not give harmful gifts to your own children – He will not either – not unless we demand our own way and our own timing.   

As much as you can, actively give HIM the control back.  Live and be at peace.  We must trust – otherwise we will start to be blinded and miss out on what is right in front of us. Sadness is OK when God has led us there…..self-pity will kill what is most dear – our peace, our love, our faith! 

May He be the lifter of your head today! Remember to let God write your story.  Praise Him in all things – He dwells in our praises – and my goodness we need Him to dwell close to us in the valley.  Praise is so powerful – do not underestimate it!

Paradox of Life and Death

by Kerry Hasenbalg

“By his death, Jesus opened a new and life-giving way through the curtain into the Most Holy Place.” –Hebrews 10:20

My mother called to say she was coming up to my house to get some more baby stuff for my sister-in-law Jenn. Two days before she had borrowed my co-sleeper and baby glider for Jenn since I would not need them because my baby had died in the womb. I was pretty happy to give these things the other day and had actually offered them in the first place.  But for some reason, when she called for the baby wrap I fell apart.  I told her that I know it is my issue and that it is not rational, but I am struggling letting go of these things since they were intended for our baby whom we lost.  I asked her to wait for a couple of days and then I would bring them myself to Jenn. 

When I got off the phone, I began to cry, and I pictured the men at the foot of the cross of Jesus casting lots for His clothing.  Even though it was not my mother’s intention to be insensitive (she is one of the most sensitive people I know), it just seemed to be a similar scene for me.  I felt like Mary kneeling at the cross still in mourning over the loss of her child as my child’s things were already being taken.  I cried out to God in my heart, “It seems so wrong for others to be benefiting from our loss, particularly so soon. Help me with this Lord.” And He immediately ministered to me by reminding me how exceedingly and immediately I benefited from His loss – the death of His son! And this was God’s only begotten Son. His greatest loss, my greatest gain.  I know He understands my mourning and my feelings.

Suddenly those baby things were just things because I had heard from my Lord.  And my understanding of God’s great sacrifice grew tenfold.  I love my brother’s family and their new baby desperately.  It has killed me to think that they were forced to mourn with us simultaneous of their own rejoicing over the birth of their son.  Somehow this was too great a paradox.  Mourning does not belong at the birth of a new baby – but my brother and his family could not escape it – we were losing our daughter only four hospital doors down from where they were holding their new born son.  And my brother spent all night walking back and forth from the room with his newborn son to my room where I was laboring to deliver our daughter, Isabella, who no longer had a heartbeat.  And now came yet another great paradox—their benefiting from our loss with the “stuff” we would no longer need for our baby.  It was just another one of those ironies; one of those things that don’t fit together.  And yet, God spoke and reminded me that His greatest love is the greatest irony of all.  His greatest loss was our greatest gain.  His greatest loss was my greatest gain.  Eternal life came to me because God gave His son for me! And so, in some super small way, to be like Jesus is the opportunity I have found set before us. 

The great paradox of death and life (which I have now experienced personally with the birth of my nephew and the death of my daughter happening at the same time on the same hospital floor) came crashing together most profoundly in the cross. God’s great grace.